Do You Have Style?
THE ESSENCE OF STYLE
Recap: there’s style that communicates who we are (#4.), there’s style that trendsetters and followers pursue (#1), there are people who play with personal style (#2), and then there are the people who’ve simply got it (#5).
So why am I talking about who’s got that quintessential style?
Because it’s part of everything you are, it’s your heart and mind connecting with your body.
It’s style that’s deeply rooted inside but it’s got a presence that’s palpable. You know it when you see it because it resonates with your very essence.
It’s presence is palpable when you find peace, when you find harmony with your inner and outer beauty, with your worldview and your way of living, and in your relationships with humans and nature.
CAPTURING STYLE
You can’t force it.
You can’t buy it.
No other person or place with style can rub off on you...there’s no elusive X-factor that will make up for the flaws you think you have.
Pursuing beauty and fashion trends won’t do you any good. That’s a fool’s errand. It’ll never end and you’ll never be content.
You only get style when you accept who you already are, when you listen to your body, and when you take care of yourself.
This style is harmony with your beauty, both inside and out. It’s harmony with your worldview and your way of living, and in your relationships with nature, other people, and yourself.
You’ll never find it if you go looking for it.
It’s about accepting the style you already have, it’s about being comfortable with yourself.
FITTING IN OR OUT
When you’ve got style, you’re not trying to fit in (or out).
My favorite shirt in 6th grade was a dark green T-shirt with a local bank’s large, all-white logo on the front that my family wore to walk in a parade.
I mean, I loved this shirt. I wore it so often that a boy in my class asked me why I had worn it 3 times in one week.
Before I could even explain, this popular girl next to us said it was because I was poor and then told him he was being rude. That girl took away my voice and my pride, and I felt ashamed.
But I wore that shirt because I really did feel good in it. It was my favorite color and the perfect fit. It was my style.
That little popular 6th grade girl saw fashion trends and brands as standards for style that, surely, we all aspire to. She couldn’t imagine a world where I wouldn’t want to dress like her.
I’m pretty sure I was much happier with my green and perfectly proportioned free Grabill Bank T-shirt than she ever was with her whole closet full of Abercrombie sweaters and jeans.
THE CLOTHING
You’ll find that even the most expensive clothing can’t get you that palpable presence of style.
I found clothes from Walmart and Meijer in middle school that made me as happy as some of my most beautiful dresses.
Because it’s not about the clothes, it’s about how you carry yourself. It’s not about the design or quality but how it fits on your body, makes you feel, and supports your lifestyle.
You may have to look a little longer to find the clothes you love, but I promise if you stop thinking about labels and start trying things on, you’ll find what you need. Less is almost always more.
(Going into debt will only hurt you and take away your peace and joy in your style. Put those credit cards in blocks of ice, my fellow shopaholics…)
PRECIOUS RESOURCES
It can take a lot of time and energy to take care of yourself.
To be aware of how you are feeling may even require therapy for some of us!
But it’s worth putting in the effort because when you find that inner peace, when your style shines bright, you’ll find that life is a lot more enjoyable.
You’ll think more clearly about what you want and how you want to do it. You’ll be more present and aware of the world around you (instead of being consumed with all the Clothing Wars in your mind).
So take the time to listen, to accept, to appreciate, and to nurture, and one day I’ll pass you on the street and think, “that girl has got style.”
